We start from the basis that Being jealous is not a mental illness. We all implicitly from birth to be jealous in a natural way and that is how we protect the links with those around us. We see the clear example in the little ones and their dependent affective relationship towards their parents.
- 1 We all feel jealous
- 2 When jealousy becomes a problem
- 3 How to reduce feelings of jealousy
We all feel jealous
We perceive jealousy when we feel concern about the proximity of an unusual person in our nearest circle. Even knowing that the risk of something negative happening is non-existent. That is why we see that it is something partly irrational that with work and guidelines can be controlled so that it does not cause negative effects when we talk about relationships.
We keep in the depths of us that animal aspect that aims at possession and territoriality. With which we try to maintain control of the people around us and that the emotional ties that bind us are strong.
We find the negativity of jealousy when behaviors are modified to control our circle of people in order to ensure or guarantee that our emotional ties will not be at risk.
When jealousy becomes a problem
We find these types of cases in couples, friends, family, even pets. Extreme celotypy is part of a psychiatric entity and as such, it can lead to violent acts that in cases can become extreme. The celotypic individual is threatened everywhere and therefore can commit very negative acts that will eventually put the relationship he defends at risk.
You need to and ask others for constant real fidelity checks. Look for signs of lack of fidelity in any corner and although these do not exist you will find unreal signs to justify your behavior. We see cases of surveillance, interference in aspects such as the mobile phone or the usual computer, etc ...
The most serious problem with this is that if you don't stop in time, the jealous person will never stop being so because of the many tests we provide. Therefore, a final catastrophic for that relationship can be predicted if we do not set behavior patterns.
Never forget that we talk about a chronic pathological problem and that as such it goes beyond pure whim. The jealous person suffers a lot and so you have to solve your problem.
Against what many think jealousy is not a symptom of love for the coupleIf not, rather, an absolute weakness, lack of self-esteem that makes us feel at risk, try to control enormous internal anxieties about not being sufficiently valuable, attractive, dear or desirable to anyone else. This insecurity is probably related to feelings of inadequacy, severe self-criticism, very low self-esteem and, in excessively stormy or pathological cases, to delusions of paranoid nature.
How to reduce feelings of jealousy
And to avoid the beginning of this problem we will define or mark your starting guidelines:
If you suddenly suspect that your partner is showing great interest in someone, wait for a moment of emotional relaxationIt will be an excellent time to talk in confidence with our partner. emotionally before talking to her about suspicions. It is always better to be direct than to subject our partner to inspection, as it will generate insecure security that is difficult to repair.
Make a sincere analysis of your suspicions and their fundamentals. Ask yourself if there are strong and compelling reasons to suspect. If something has changed in our relationship.
Check your own behavior. Has something changed in us that makes us feel more insecure? Physical variations? Work problems? They may well be the triggers of the insecurity that causes jealousy.
Does our partner show serious and repeated reasons to show distrust about her? If you realize that without a doubt your partner gives you some reasons to distrust her. Our behavior change may be forcing our partner to strengthen ties with people outside our relationship. It would therefore be convenient to do self-criticism.
By last, something recurring in jealousy in which in the end we provoke the opposite of what the jealous wants. It's simple, jealousy creates distrust and negativity. This makes us look good to be out of the relationship and our partner who was not being unfaithful, is now knowing another person for the negative behavior that has been created.
No one is free to be or become a jealous person. Therefore, we must detect and stop those behaviors that can only bring us headaches.